come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
