Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
