Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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