My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
