Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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