you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
