i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
