It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
