I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
