Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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