I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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