Come see our sink grown plant.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
