Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
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Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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