you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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