please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
As shirtless as possible
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
