You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
