winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my shit smells like andre
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
