Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
