Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
