Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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