i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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