Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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