Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
