I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
