JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
