I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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