So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
