I like to think it a success when the cops are called
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
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From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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