hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
