the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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