My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
