i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
