True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
soo... how was my night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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