What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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