i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
