and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
