I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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