You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
