Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize