What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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