I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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