What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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