I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
