mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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