saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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