I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
