I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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