return my video game
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
