think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
