he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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