i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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