I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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