Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
