The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
