:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
