College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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