And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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