I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
