I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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