i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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