Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
