I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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