Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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