I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
