I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
