i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Terrible idea I love it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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